The Weekend By The Numbers

Hopefully, you all are feeling a bit better than you did on Sunday morning. I’d say we’re too old for this shit, but this weekend was pretty damn close to everything I hoped it would be.

Let’s do this by the numbers -

5,680: As in Oak Ridge Lane, where Evan got way more than he bargained for when he extended an open invitation for folks to stop by all weekend.

4,790: Dollars that were spent on drinks between the Band Party and Saturday’s happy hour at Alex’s.

1,000 (approx.): The number of pictures taken during the 61 S. Main tour.

300+ : The number of people that attended the Band Party.

280: KA pint glasses given to KA Alumni.

180: Number of minutes Big John spent on the dance floor at the Band Party.

150: Dollars that we all contributed to this weekend. With the numbers we had, that cash went far. A bargain, in my humble opinion, considering the fun I had.

120 (approx.): The consensus best guess on how old Gary Horowitz must be by now (but he still looked better than some of us).

90: The number of minutes one Brother spent with his head on the table at the Band Party in a non-verbal state (and then suddenly disappeared)

75 (ish): The number of Klan brothers who were in town for the weekend.

61: as in S. Main. Looking amazing.

50: The anniversary for which Alfred held a celebration for their only traffic light. I believe KA was proudly represented by Mr. Kravetz. (How did Big John not go to this?!?! No one had more fun than him this weekend.)

25 (est’d): The number of Brothers who willingly climbed back into the Clubhouse during the House tour.

5 (est’d): Number of times Joel was dropped by OC while he kindly carried Joel back to the dorm on Saturday.

3: The number of Greg Stayer’s family members (his wife and two daughters) who were treated with nothing but respect and love from everyone. They were so glad they came. Thank you, guys.

3: The number of times I told our dinner crowd to “Shut the fuck up!” before I realized AU’s President Zupan was standing next to me.

2: The number of banners from the Band Party that appear to have been ‘liberated.’ WTF is anyone doing with a 7-foot-tall Klansman flag? (Update - the Klansman banner has been accounted for)

1: The number of times Justin was wailed by a “bucket from God” while at Evan’s

1: Last (???) Klan Alpine Band Party

Zero: Combined number of regrets any of us had about this weekend, and the number of fucks given as to what anyone outside KA thought of us.

I’m sure I’m forgetting a bunch of things, but that’ll do for now.